kahwin itu indah, i guess.

Malik wants to know my wedding plans. So here goes:

#1 : How old are you?
Some of my friends puts my age at around 50-70 years old. My IC says I'm 19 this year. I feel like 24.

#2 : Are you single?
Yes! Yes I am single. Marry me, o author of these questions!

#3 : At what age do you think you'll get married?
(All reference to age will be according to my IC after this.) The minimum age for marriage that my dad has set for me is 32 years old. He want me to work first, dapat duit, bagi kat dia, and when he is satisfied enough he will give the green light. I say, around 55 years old?

#4 : Do you think you'll be marrying the person you are with now?
I am single la bodo. Cant you read? Bangang.

#5 : If not who do you want to marry?
Ramai. Gila. But I'm not a sexual maniac, I just like their company.

#6 : Who will be your bridesmaid or bestman?
Iyad. Just for the heck of it. Mwahahahaha.

#7 : Garden/beach/traditional wedding?
Kedai mamak wedding. You can come and eat and menabur rampai (or whatever shit they do to newly married couples on the jinjang pelamin), but later pay yourself la.

#8 : Honeymoon?
Wtf? Is it compulsory? Can't we just go honeymooning in Bangi je?

#9 : How many guests do you think you will invite?
Anyone who's willing to pay for my kedai mamak wedding.

#10 : Will that include your exes?
My ex is the wife.

#11 : How many layers of cake do you want.
As much as kek lapis can sustain.

#12 : When do you want to get married? Morning or evening?
Lepas subuh terus kahwin. Time2 rezeki la katakan...

#13 : Name the song/tune you would like to play in your wedding
"Bayarlah.. bayarlah sendiriiii...." (like SM Salim's Apa Nak Jadi)

#14 : Fine dining or normal fork and spoon.
You pay, you decide. Makan guna kaki pun buleh.

#15 : Champagne or red wine?
My wedding is strictly halal. No haram2 crap involved. bersih dan suci disisi Tuhan.

#16 : Honeymoon right after wedding or days after wedding?
Honeymoon kat blakang rumah ja. Bila2 buleh buat.

#17 : Money or household items?
Household items? Hang nak bagi kat aku perabot ka? Mesti beli kat courts Mammoth ni. Kalu hang beli kat situ aku x mau. Tak glamer. Nanti jiran tanya mana aku dapat perabot ni, jatuh ayaq muka aku nak habaq kata aku dapat mai courts Mammoth. Tak buleh buang pasai orang bagi hadiah. Tak buleh simpan tempat lain pasai besaq sangat. Maka konklusinya, hang bagi kat aku cash saja la noh. Cek pun buleh. Kredit kad pun diterima.

#18 : How many kids would you like to have?
7.5 kids.

#19 : Will you record your honeymoon in DVD or CD?
Kalu aku record nanti jadi dokumentari pasal Bangi pulak.

Oh! Buleh aku hantaq pi kat Majalah3! Buleh buat duit sikit no! Ih ih ih baguih betui soalan hang nih. Selamat hang tanya aku. Boleh balik modal kos kahwin aku!

#20 : I want to know their wedding plans:
No one. No one. No one.